pang

This is the first in a series of collaborations between TENDER (now Heft) and generative artists.

Within each of us resides an evolutionary history of primal emotions, yet we often spend our lives dulling and controlling these instincts rather than reveling in them. Art is one of the ways we best express those instincts and intuitions -- accessing and visualizing their visceral qualities, and releasing our deepest emotions in a way we can share.

pang reflects emotions that take control of our impulses -- anguish, euphoria, obsession. By using crayon-like marks, the artworks convey the catharsis felt while drawing with a childlike abandon. To capture what gives such marks true feeling, the works deliberate the intrinsic movements, pressures, and angles shaped by hands in various moods. These qualities and their frenetic meanderings represent the infinite possibilities of where the crayon could go next -- if only we could free ourselves from the layers of control we've built.

The contradictions we struggle with are reflected throughout the works: in the long, methodical, and mathematical path to creation that yields work that looks fast, free and unrehearsed; through the randomly-informed computer generation of art that feels human; and by the depiction of long-standing traditional techniques to help display the conceptual range of a young, innovative art movement still establishing its pivotal place in the canon of art. These tensions parallel the work's underlying concept, accentuating the suspicion that a learned fear of emotional expression might just be the source of our own pang.

Created in p5.js, pang is inspired by the emotional works and processes of later abstract expressionists such as Cy Twombly and Joan Mitchell -- as well as contemporary artists like José Parlá.

Collaborating with ajberni was amazing. First, he has incredible attention to detail. I shared over 3,000 WIPs (works-in-progress) with ajberni, and I was consistently amazed at how he would pick up on small (many times, unintentional) changes. Second, his fantastic writing really made tangible the depth of what we were trying to create. Third, he had a laser-focused vision. While this was apparent from the beginning, I remain in awe of his unwavering ability to maintain that focus throughout the entire collection (e.g., palettes, stroke widths, stroke marks, etc.). Last, but quite possibly the most important, he brought a wealth of knowledge and experience that was foundational to pang, but also enriched me as an artist. As a few examples, here is how I'll be approaching my work differently in the future.

• I'll be less likely to rely on random for generating compositions.
• I'll be more focused on the meaning behind the work, asking myself several key questions... Why am I creating this collection specifically? What's the message that I want to send? How will this collection help advance the generative art movement?
• The previous point will also result in me focusing more on creating than discovering.

Through the entire collaboration abstractment maintained a truly inspiring balance of openness, and strong point of view -- bringing a thoughtful approach, an exceptional drive to discover / create, true dedication to figuring new things out in code, and a true 360 view of what he, and we, wanted to create.

As an artist (non-generative), creative director, and collector, it was an honor to splice my own points of view into a collaborative effort with an artist I so deeply respect. I view the process of creation as the same across media, and across phases of any project: it's an act of self-editing -- from the most intuitively fluid editing that one doesn't even think about, to the thoughtful deliberations needed to cull knowledge and experimentation into new paths.

Pang clearly would not exist without abstractment's rigor, creativity, and their entire generative development of this project. Both myself and Tender (in its efforts to support the generative art movement) have the greatest gratitude to abstractment for everything they put into this.